Mark Time

Carolyn's badge

(Before I go any further, I want to note that Carolyn gave me permission to put this on my blog)

Yesterday, Carolyn (my wife) made a trip to the Ladies' Room.  At her office this is her own private domain - they had to build it for her specially when they moved her and a few other engineers out to an office in the factory.  She's the only woman working in that building.

While doing her business, she noticed something on her shoe (dust, lint, who knows?).  She bent forward ...

She wears her badge on a lanyard.  The badge descended below the seat at which point she realized and sat up.  The badge got caught on the seat and popped off the lanyard.  It didn't fall into the water in the toilet but rather laid there on the porcelain.

However .... it was at this point that the urge to pee overtook her.

She reports that the badge looks fine after being rinsed off.  As of last night she hadn't checked to see if the little smart chip on it still worked on her laptop.

Her co-worker is reported to have said, "I'm not going near your ID badge again!"

Stewardship and Humor

From the minutes of the Presbytery of New Brunswick Mission Council, September 25, 2007:

Based upon the average household income of $93,277 per year and the likely contribution behavior in the area, the overall religious giving potential can be described ass extremely high.

You can't ask for a better typo (emphasis mine).

Awkwardness Survival Guide

I Stumbled Upon this website today:

Awkwardness Survival Guide

I've done all of them except for the last one.

I'll add my own to the list.  My wife usually accompanies me to hockey games.  Sometimes my sister comes instead - mainly when my wife is too tired or has another appointment.  As a result, primarily at hockey games, I've been known to confuse my wife's and sister's names.  Sometimes in front of them.

At least my sister and I haven't come up on the "Kiss Cam" on the big screen.  My seats are in a place where it's REALLY hard for the cameras to reach.

(If you decide to join StumbleUpon, add me as a friend - markrsmith83)

Fun with Signs

The folks at work have been having fun with the signs by the bathrooms.  This picture is just an example - the heads keep changing.

Monty Python and Star Trek

I love Star Trek.  I love Monty Python (my first date with my wife was to see "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" on campus).

This is great.

Louie Louie and Benton Harbor, MI

Paula Dawning, the Superintendent of Schools in Benton Harbor, MI, has banned the McCord Middle School marching band from playing Louie Louie this weekend in the town's Grand Floral Parade.  (AP Story via Yahoo)

Apparently, she's concerned about the "raunchy lyrics".  As far as I know, NOBODY knows what the lyrics to the song are.  However, the ability to play it must be a human instinct - I've never seen a marching band use any sheet music yet all marching bands are able to play it instantly with or without a conductor.

I sent the following letter to Ms. Dawning urging her to reconsider:

Dear Ms. Dawning,

I read a news story today stating that you had banned the McCord Middle School band from playing the song "Louie Louie".  I would urge you to reconsider.

At age 36, I fondly remember my years playing music in school.  I strongly believe that my musical experiences, in addition to being fun, were a major part of the foundation that was built for my future success.  I played in the school's band and jazz band, and ultimately was a member of the NJ All-State Band and All-State Orchestra.  I went on to be a member of the Rutgers University Marching Band and Pep Band.

Music is important in many ways to a student.  It builds confidence through public performance.  It builds character through the discipline required to practice and learn your instrument.  It builds the ability to work smoothly in groups.  Evidence shows that music builds mathematical ability as well.

And "Louie Louie" is an important tradition in marching bands.  I have never been a member of a marching band where that song was not played.  I have never met anyone who belonged to a marching band that did not play that song.  In fact, "Louie Louie" seems to be more of a natural instinct - I have never seen any sheet music for it but I've also never seen a band that didn't know how to play it - nearly flawlessly on the first try.  If you leave a marching band alone long enough, it will spontaneously play "Louie Louie".

I feel that I must address the question of the lyrics.  While I've never met a band that didn't know "Louie Louie", I've also never met ANYONE who knows the lyrics.  In the 1960's, the FBI investigated the allegedly obscene lyrics and concluded that they were not obscene, and in fact were "unintelligible at any speed".  I have seen many, many Internet websites purporting to have the lyrics - and no claimant has any better claim than any other.  The song has just never been understandable.

I hope that you will reconsider your decision, and allow the band to play "Louie Louie" this weekend.

Sincerely,

Mark Smith

Ms. Dawning may be reached via e-mail at pdawning@remc11.k12.mi.us .

UPDATE:  (5/6/05) - The superintendent has relented.  After hearing from a majority of parents (and not just the single complainer), she has decided to let them play Louie Louie in the parade.

And I got a nice note from the band director in response to my e-mail above, which I had forwarded to him.

(42.360007,-071.087870 in decimal degrees)

This will be the first and only time traveler convention (since you can attend from any era, multiple conventions are unnecessary).  Come and meet time travelers from the past and future.  Introduce your grandchildren to your grandparents (you'll probably have to pick up some of them first).

Please note that the date is in reference to the Gregorian Calendar in use at the host time.

I'm posting this here, as I believe that my blog will become so popular that transcripts should be available well into the future!

Judicial Overkill

Michael Mayo, of the Sun-Sentinel in Florida talks in his column about judicial overkill.

Male juror Stacey Forbes, age 19, was arrested and sentenced to 4 MONTHS in jail for lying on a juror questionnaire.  He has been arrested twice before for minor drug offenses (but never convicted), and answered "no" to the question asking if he'd been arrested.  According to him, he thought that they'd meant convicted, not arrested.  He's a high-school dropout with reading problems.

In Broward County, Florida, failing to show up for jury duty gets you at most a $100 fine.  Showing up and accidentally lying on the form?  4 months.

This is out of control.  The kid apologized for his mistake, but activist Judge Eileen O'Connor (a Bush appointee) has decided to use him as an example.

He's currently free on bond awaiting appeal, but has to report to authorities 3 times a week and has a 1am curfew.  Here's hoping that the Appeals Court has better judgement (and is less fascist) than Judge O'Connor.

Note that Mr. Mayo has posted her office phone number in his column.  Feel free to use it.

Outsourcing Minimum Wage Jobs

McDonald's is apparently considering outsourcing drive-thru order taking.  Reuters Story

That's right - the person behind the clown's mouth (though McDonald's doesn't really have those anymore) might be several states away.  Probably in a cheaper job market.  And they won't have any idea whether or not your McDonald's is out of Apple Pies or not.  I can't see how they'll be accountable for mistakes either.  ("Sorry, I know you ordered a Big Mac but the girl in Cleveland typed in McNuggets by mistake.  If you'll just pull over here we'll fix it.")

How long before they outsource the jobs to India?  Not only will we have trouble understanding the Dell tech support folks, but now we won't be able to order American food from an American restaurant without talking to a foreigner! (OK, to be fair, that's already true in some parts of the country.)

Diversity Beans

My wife recently ran a "Diversity Celebration" for her company at two locations.  As part of the celebration, she used Diversity Jelly Beans from iCelebrateDiversity.com.

Diversity Beans are regular jelly beans, except that the flavor doesn't match the color.  A black bean might be cherry or lemon.  A yellow bean might be licorice.  The whole point is "This candy is just like people--you cannot determine what is on the inside by simply looking at the outside. These beans remind us to experience people one at a time and enjoy their unique qualities."

The colors and flavors are random - it's not like they just switched the colors.

Here's the kicker - the package comes labelled "Diversity Beans - Assorted".  Can you buy just red?  Can you buy just cherry?  Seems a bit redundant to me.

(Note:  This is a little like the "Every Flavor Beans" from Harry Potter, except without the nasty flavors.)

I Guess They'll Skip Her House on Halloween ...

In Durango, Colorado, two teenage girls (17 and 18) were successfully sued for delivering a gift of cookies to a neighbor's house.

Wanita Renea Young was at home when her neighbors came over with a Random Act of Kindness - a few cookies.  They had been delivering cookies to their neighbors on Avenida Del Sol in Durango, CO for about an hour, having skipped a dance to be kind to their neighbors.  They even skipped houses that were dark - only going to houses where the light was on and someone was presumably up (at 10:30pm on a Friday summer night).

Ms. Young was so frightened by these scary girls (see picture with Follow Up story below) that she called the Sheriff.  The Sheriff didn't see anything illegal.  She ended up going to the hospital with symptoms of a heart attack.

Wait - it gets better.  She later sued the girls, and won a judgment from a Small Claims Court judge (who is apparently very small himself) for $900 in medical costs, plus $1 in damages.

The good news is that the kids are alright.  MANY people have offered to pay their costs.  They'll even be going to NYC to appear on Good Morning America. (Followup #1)

But then it gets even worse.  Apparently, Wanita Young's husband won't stop calling the girls' house.  Herb Young is the subject of a restraining order requested by the father of one of the girls. (Followup #2)

Wanita Young - you are truly a hard-hearted person.

I Had to Walk to School ...

In Greece, a bus driver is likely to be fired for showing porn to students on the bus.

Now, I had to walk to school or ride with my father.  Even if I'd taken the bus, I would have seen the back of the kid's head in front of me.  What kind of school bus has mini-screens in the seatbacks?

Stupid Employee Tricks

This is a true story - it happened yesterday.

My wife is a department manager.  One of her employees is a 60-ish man who's just coasting until retirement.

Yesterday, she walked into his office.  He was leaning back in his chair, head back, and SNORING.

So, she walked up to his desk and shouted: "WAKEY, WAKEY, EGGS AND BAKEY!"

He jumped up and quickly grabbed his mouse to make it look like he was working.  In doing so, the screen saver disappeared and revealed a 1/2-completed game of Solitaire.

He's a diabetic.  He claimed that he fell asleep due to low blood sugar (apparently ignoring the hypnotic effects of Solitaire).  So, he proceeds to get out his testing kit and take a reading in front of my wife.

He came up with 142 - which is HIGH, not low.

(Yes, she gave him a verbal warning and she's gonna document it today.)

My Wife's Hearing Loss?

This morning on the radio, there was a commercial for hearing aids that began:

"Many people live with hearing loss ..."

My wife (who is not yet 40, by the way) heard:

"Many people live with their in-laws ..."

No, she doesn't have a physical hearing problem.  Her brain is just wired that way.

(NOTE:  We've never lived with either set of parents.)

Help, or Get Out of The Way

Varifrank has posted this gem in his blog about Europeans' reaction to US tsunami aid.

Unprofessional - maybe.  Absolutely the right thing to say - definately.

Wacky Warning Label Winners

The winners are out in the annual Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch Wacky Warning Label contest.

This year's first prize goes to a toilet brush, with a warning label reading:  "Do Not Use for personal hygiene".

Second prize was won by children's scooter that reads "This product moves when used".

Third prize (this should have done better than 3rd) was a digital thermometer that reads (are you ready?):  "Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally".

Click the link above for the 4th and 5th prizes.

Lose Weight Fast - Tumor Removal

In Cincinnati, a woman has lost over 80 pounds - 66 of them from a single tumor.  (local news article)

As strange as it sounds, I believe it.  My wife had a large cantaloupe-sized ovarian tumor removed when she was in her mid-20's.  The gynecologist initially thought that she was pregnant (alarming enough), then the ultrasound revealed this.  She had it harder - back then the recovery was several months on the couch.

Death Penalty for Overdue Library Books

It used to be a cliche - sentencing someone to death for an overdue library book.

Now, Bay City, Michigan is moving in that direction.  (CNN Story)

The Bay County library system director is asking the Library Board for permission to seek arrest warrants for patrons keeping books past due and ignoring repeated notices.  He also wants to levy criminal fines and jail time up to 90 days.

According to the article, a particularly heinous offender has $1,200 worth of books out (not the fine, the value of the books), most for over a year (and mostly sci-fi - could easily be me).  One has to wonder how much it will cost the county to prosecute him and keep him in jail.  Library fines currently run 5 to 10 cents per day.

This guy is nuts.  I can see wanting to make a point, but there's gotta be a better way than arresting patrons.  Maybe embarass them in the newspaper?

Counting Sheep at Bedtime

So, I'm lying in bed last night reading before going to sleep.  I still have the police scanner on.

I hear:

"Station 40, respond to the Turnpike mile marker xx.x northbound on an overturned vehicle with possible entrapment.  Use caution for sheep running around on the highway."

And suddenly my head pops up.  They repeat the dispatch identically.

The story:
Newsday Story

You can't make this stuff up.

Stupid People #2 - Soprano's Italian and American Grill Lake George NY

In Lake George, NY, charges have been dropped against Humberto Taveras after he was alleged to have left a less-than-desired tip for dinner. (Newsday story)

Mr. Taveras ate at the restaurant on September 9 with a party of 8 people. He wasn't happy with the service provided by the restaurant, so he left a tip of about 12%. The menu listed a mandatory gratuity of 18% for parties of 6 or more. When he left a smaller tip, the restaurant owner (Joe Soprano) had him arrested for theft of services.

The Warren County District Attorney dropped the charges yesterday, stating that customers cannot be required to pay a gratuity.

What's most worrisome to me is the attitude of the restaurant owner that a gratuity is required. A gratuity is just that - something given in thanks for good service. It is never required, though you shouldn't be too surprised if you have to wait forever for food that has been spit upon if you come back to a the same place after leaving a lousy tip.

I generally tip 15%. Twenty years ago, I can remember the expected tip being 10%. Now, it seems like 20% is not only expected but demanded for average service. I generally use 15% because it's fairly easy to calcluate in my head. I do tend to round up, especially if I get good service, but I'm also not afraid to reduce the tip for poor service.

A mandatory gratuity is an oxymoron. The folks at Soprano's qualify as morons as well.

The Orange Couch

Michele, of A Small Victory, has posted an article on retro fashions coming around again - particularly ponchos. That leads me to believe that it's time for the story of my Orange Couch.
(It helps that I'm listening to the 80's channel off the net.)

The Orange Couch

In the very early 90's, I had just graduated from college where I lived in the dorms. I was living in an apartment that was the converted 2nd floor of a Cape Cod in Fairlawn, NJ. The owners had installed locking doors between the hallway and their two first-floor front rooms, and a locking door at the top of the stairs for the upstairs apartment. There was a full bath upstairs, a little kitchen, and two big rooms with window air conditioners. The old husband downstairs was a nice guy and good landlord - unfortunately he died three weeks after I moved in and his wife was a real pain in the neck.

Since I was just out of school, I had no furniture. My bed was a twin from my parents - the same one I'd had since I was 5 years old (I have it again in my guest room now). My dresser was bought from a neighbor for $10. My desk was also from Dad - the one he had at college.

I needed some living room furniture. Luckily, my boss had a couch and loveseat set that he wanted to get rid of. I said I'd go to his house to look at it and take it if it was acceptable.

So, one Saturday afternoon, my father and I took the 1974 Gran Torino Station Wagon (the wagon version of Starsky & Hutch's ride - I'll do a story on that car sometime - the picture is correct except that it's a 1973 and ours was brown) up to his house in Nanuet, NY.

We entered the room where the couch was kept, and discovered that they were ORANGE. Bright, flaming orange velvet. The upholstery was a little worn, but otherwise they were in great shape. Rather than look a gift horse in the mouth, we took them.

The Gran Torino wagon was a trooper - we fit the couch inside with the back window rolled down, and tied the loveseat on top. We drove it to my apartment.

We got the loveseat up the narrow stairs, around the tight corner into the tiny hallway, and into the living room. Then, we started on the couch. We got to the top of the stairs and found that the couch was long enough that it didn't fit through the doorway upright. It didn't even fit on a diagonal - the ceiling was very low. The hall was so tight that we couldn't even go in horizontally. The couch was a loss.

So, we put it back into the wagon and took it back to my parents' house in Tenafly, NJ. We put it into the garage (they weren't having THAT ugly couch in the house). My father had an idea - if we peeled back the upholstery we could cut the end off the couch and reassemble it back at the apartment.

It was another week or so before we were ready to do the dis-/re-assembly. We carefully pulled out the upholstery staples and peeled it back from one end of the couch. We found that the end was attached to the frame by three supports - one at the top of the back and two at the front and back of the bottom. If we cut through them, we'd be fine. So, we peeled even more upholstery back from the end to expose the side of those pieces of wood and then we were ready.

I can't remember now whether we used a power tool or a saw, but we cut through the supports carefully. Once all three were cut, we then reassembled the end and drilled holes. We installed 5-inch lag bolts into the holes and tightened them down. My father did a really good job - he even countersunk the bolt heads so that we didn't have them sticking out.

Once this was complete, we took it apart again and loaded up the wagon again. Off to the apartment, and up the stairs. In two pieces, the couch made it into the living room. We then re-bolted and stapled the upholstery down again. The couch was once again complete.

At the end of the lease, I'd had enough of my crazy landlady. I moved to a "garden" apartment in a worse neighborhood on the Bergenfield/Teaneck border - near the Teaneck National Guard armory. This was a borderline bad neighborhood - at one point I had to call the police for domestic abuse in the apartment next door. There was no parking, either - to get your reserved parking place you had to be home by 7 or 8pm.

We took the couch apart carefully, moved it to the new apartment, and re-assembled it. That was the last move I ever made with the Gran Torino wagon - it was mercifully donated to the Jewish Heritage Federation for the Blind the next year as a tax writeoff after a total brake failure on Route 17 - at the grand age of 18 and over 130,000 miles. The couch was put back together again for good - the new apartment didn't require it to be in pieces for moving.

The couch and loveseat stayed with me for a while longer. I moved them to my one-bedroom Hamilton, NJ apartment where it remained for 16 months. Then, it moved to my house (which I've now owned for almost 9 years). It stayed in the family room for about 6 months until we got 2 new couches. It was then left out at the curb and the loveseat kept in the living room of our 4 bedroom house until we finally got around to getting better furniture for that room.

The couch wasn't dead yet. Our house was bought brand-new - and the neighborhood was still being completed. The site manager's office was the garage of the house across the street and we discovered that the couch hadn't been picked up by the township - the builders had grabbed it to use in their office.

My boss and I were able to trace the couch's lineage - I was the 5th known owner. It had been passed around from formerly-single person now-married to a new single person since it's creation (presumably in the 70's). It was a really comfortable couch for snoozing! My new couches were chosen to match the shape and feel of this ancient wonder.

I wonder where it is now .....

Another Dental Dispatch

A co-worker told me this true story about his experience yesterday. I thought it might amuse you.

This particular co-worker is an amateur hockey player. Thus, he has the traditional hockey dental work - bridges and such.

He had pain in one tooth that was bothering him so much that he had trouble sleeping. He made an appointment with the dentist. His theory was that he had gotten food (probably the ribs he'd just eaten) stuck between the tooth and the adjacent bridge.

He got to the dentist and explained the theory. The dentist pooh-poohed the theory until he started rooting around. Then, he found the cause.

Dental floss. Yep - he had little strands of dental floss stuck in there - probably when the floss broke while he was conscientiously cleaning his teeth.

It gets better.

Dentist: You just can't use that cheap floss.
Patient: But you GAVE me that cheap floss. I don't buy floss - I use the stuff that you give me!

True story.

Abortion Excess Again

The loony left is making it difficult to continue my liberal leaning yet again. Where do these people come from?

Planned Parenthood has come up with a new T-Shirt - the "I Had an Abortion" T-Shirt. (No, I'm not making this up.)

This seems insane to me. I can't think of any reason that an abortion would be morally acceptable to me that doesn't involve a mistake, or at best circumstances beyond the woman's control. I can see having an abortion because you accidentally (or through birth control failure) become pregnant. I can see having an abortion because you were raped or impregnated through an incestuous relationship. I can even see having an abortion to save the life of some of a multiple pregnancy. However, none of these things involve something to be proud of.

I have known exactly two people in my life who have had an abortion. In both cases, it was due to an error - an unexpected pregnancy at a bad time in their lives. In both cases, the prevailing emotion involved was shame (among others). Neither woman (one was really just a girl at the time) was proud.

Would you wear a T-shirt that says: "I Rear-Ended Someone on the Interstate"? How about "I Shoplifted"? Or "I Was Playing Ball in the House and Broke the Lamp"?

Planned Parenthood has gone too far. Abortion should be available to women who have made an error or had something terrible (again, rape and incest here) happen to them. However, I can't think of any time that it is appropriate to be PROUD of having an abortion.

(Hat Tip: A Small Victory)

Band Sausages

Michele at A Small Victory has a little game called Band Sausages.

What you do is put two (or more) band names together where the band names overlap:
Boys II Men at Work
George Michael Jackson

Go to her page to see the entries thus far. If you have a new entry, add it to her page to keep them all in once place.

This one's a LOT of fun.

Kentucky Fried Cruelty

(This is getting to be tough week. I'm finding myself having to take the side opposite my own beliefs because those who I agree with are going to extremes.)

I hate PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). These people are generally vegetarian Nazis - who believe that eating meat is morally wrong. I have a few vegetarian friends, but they are very good about respecting the eating habits of others (as my wife and I do for them by providing veggie alternatives when they eat at our house). PETA is also the same group that paints fur coats and commits other acts of veggie-terrorism.

However, in one case at least they've gotten it right.

This link is to a video shot by an undercover PETA employee at a Pilgrim's Pride plant in West Virginia. This particular plant supplies chicken to KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken), which has been targeted by PETA. The video shows workers throwing live chickens against a wall and kicking them. It ends with workers actually stomping on live chickens - in one case hopping across the floor to hit more chickens.

This is depraved. Apparently, it's caused by frustrations and boredom among the plant workers. However, this behavior is unacceptable in anyone. Cruelty to animals is closely linked to abuse of people.

I've written to Pilgrim's Pride and KFC and told them that I'll be boycotting them (in KFC's case all brands owned by YUM Brands, Inc.) until they show a clear track record of proper behavior. I suggest that you do the same.

Aren't they Austrian?

In the Sound of Music, the Von Trapp children live in Austria - just before the Nazis annex their country.

During the movie, the nun Maria teaches them to sing in a song called "Do Re Mi".

If these kids (and Maria) are Austrian, why are they using English words for the notes?

A Mouse Autopsy - Cracker Barrel Soup Fraud

Cracker Barrel has been vindicated.

A month ago, on Mother's Day (actually the day before), a woman in Virginia claimed that she had found a mouse in her soup at a Cracker Barrel restaurant. She stated that she found the mouse after eating some of the soup. She subsequently went to the company, and offered an admission of guilt and pictures of the mouse for $500,000. (Story from The Virginian-Pilot)

The authorities were called, and the company set up a meeting with the woman and her son. She was arrested and charged with extortion and conspiracy to commit a felony.

The Cracker Barrel folks were pretty comfortable, though. They had already performed a mouse autopsy.

It turns out that the mouse died of a skull fracture, was not cooked (along with the soup, presumably) and when they cut open the mouse's tiny lungs they found no soup. (What career path do you have to take to become a mouse forensic surgeon? Will we now get to see Quincy, M-O-U-S-E on TV?)

Cracker Barrel had pulled their vegetable soup from ALL stores nationwide after this happened. (Story from May from Knight Ridder) The story went nationwide as well, and I'm sure that the Cracker Barrel folks had a hard time.

Hopefully, the blogverse will be publishing retractions to the thousands of posts that this generated.

No More Ladies Night in NJ

The NJ State Division of Civil Rights has ruled that "Ladies' Night" in bars in the state is illegal.

For those of you not familiar with the concept - Ladies' Night was a special night each week where the bar allowed women free cover charge and reduced drink prices.

This article from the Home News Tribune details the story.

Apparently, David R. Gillespie filed a complaint several years ago, stating that the promotion was illegal because it discriminates against men.

I'm a little torn on this one, because it really is discriminatory. However, the whole idea was created to draw women into the bars in the first place on slow weeknights, in order to give men a reason to be there (and to buy drinks). Mr. Gillespie has managed to shoot his entire gender in the foot on this one.

Don't worry - the Governor (who's fighting for his job at the moment) is against this ruling, calling it "bureaucratic nonsense".

It's Raining Cats

Laurence of This Blog is Full of Crap posts a story about a cat boarded up in a floor accidentally. I had something similar happen to me once ....

About a year or so ago, some friends asked my wife and I to baby-sit their cats while they were travelling. They were putting out food, so this mainly involved showing up and playing with them and petting them every other day or so.

The house was under renovation. They were replacing the plaster over lathe walls with wallboard, and moving some things around, including wiring. As a result, there were holes in the plaster walls in a number of places.

We showed up and found all 3 cats. We pet and played with them and were getting ready to leave, when we noticed that we were short a cat! We lost our friend's cat!

We searched upstairs. We searched downstairs. Finally, we decided to use the usual ruse - sit very quietly in the living room until the cats came to be sure that we were gone. We sat. Cat #1 appeared and joined us. Cat #2 appeared and joined us.

We heard a scratching in the ceiling. Suddenly, a cat head popped out of the hole in the ceiling. It was hysterical - just like a Japanese anime cat - the head came through and then the ears popped up at once. Once we started moving to get the cat, he disappeared back into the ceiling.

We trooped upstairs, and determined that we could get to him through a crawlspace. This was a VERY old house - the space between floors was almost a foot. We reached in but failed to grab him, and he crawled back into the pipes and wires.

We ended up going back downstairs and I stood on a chair. We again got very quiet. He poked his head out of the hole, but we didn't move. He reached down to the next hole in the wall and jumped to the nearby shelf. We grabbed him and put him down.

After looking around for a while, we determined that we couldn't patch ALL of the holes, so we gave up. He probably continued going in and out of the wall all week.

When my friends returned, we told them the story and they got a chuckle. They said not to be upset - he'd been doing that for weeks!

Blogger's House Burns Down

Jay McCarthy writes about how his house burned down Sunday morning after being struck by lightning.

There was originally a movement to give him money, but in his latest post he tells us thanks, but he really doesn't need it - he's covered by insurance and already has an empty grandparent's house to move to.

Blogging from your backyard while your house burns has to be a first!

Little Miss Hooters

Sekimori has taken pictures of a Hooters in Florida that is holding a "Little Miss Hooters" contest. Stacy found this herself and took the pictures. She didn't reveal the exact franchise involved.

Apparently, Stacy called them to ask about it. The contest is for girls age 5 and UNDER, who will be dressed in spandex orange shorts and a tied-up Hooters T-Shirt.

This is just depraved. Small children are NOT sex objects. Feel free to let Hooters know what you think at Hooters PR Department. I will be doing the same.

UPDATE: I got the following response:

Thank you for expressing your concern regarding the contest in Florida. A store manager decided to host an event for the employee’s children which is not a part of Hooters National Marketing promotions, and has been cancelled.

Best regards,

Alexis Aleshire
Marketing
Hooters of America
1815 The Exchange
Atlanta, GA 30339

Talking Anti-Male Toilet

I found this on Yahoo News today: Talking Toilet Orders Men to Sit Down

I can tell you this. This gadget will NEVER be installed in my home.

Adoption Game Show

ABC's 20/20 television show is scheduled to air a program on Friday showing 5 couples competing to adopt a baby born to a 16-year-old pregnant high school student.

This is just vile and disgusting. ABC has passed FOX as the most depraved TV network. A CHILD is NOT a PRIZE! Reality shows in general are pretty poor (in my opinion), but this has to take the cake.

What's next - a contest to get the 16-year-old pregnant in the first place?

Here we have more proof that Disney has fallen far, and fallen fast.

(Hat Tip: A Small Victory)

Whipping the Easter Bunny

The Glassport Assembly of God Church held a program on Easter, which included whipping the Easter Bunny and breaking colored eggs. Supposedly, it was supposed to show what Christ went through in the Easter story. It seems to have primarily scared or upset small children.

gelatinous cube has a good idea for the Christmas pageant.

As a young child I had a few strange experiences at the local Assembly of God church in Englewood, NJ - courtesy of my next-door neighbors who brought us with their children. I don't think my parents ever let me go back again afterward.

A Chicken of Your Own

Burger King has apparently paid some poor guy to wear a chicken suit and do whatever websurfers want him to do. www.subservientchicken.com

Supposedly, there is a list of things that he will NOT do.

(Hat Tip: Boing Boing)

Apology to the French

Skeptomai has found an apology to the French on a washing instructions tag for a computer bag.

Click the link - it's worth seeing the picture.

Hat Tip: Boing Boing

Spontaneous Combustion in Italy

MSNBC reports that the little village of Canneto di Caronia, Sicily, Italy has been experiences lots of spontaneous combustion events since January. The local utility has cut off electricity to the area, but appliances, electrical equipment, and even cars continue to spark up for no apparent reason.

Tough in Pink

Merillville, Indiana school administrators are worried. There might be a gang problem. How do you identify gang members - they're wearing PINK.

I guess they'll have to ban West Side Story, too - in case the gang members need training in the art of dance-fighting.

Hat Tip - DailyPundit via Outside the Beltway